Election Feebler 

June is busting out all over borrowing from an Oscar Hammerstein lyric. And nowhere is that lyric truer than in the riding of Calgary Elbow which you keen students of political history will recall was the formidable haunt of one Ralph Klein Esq., the former Premier of Alberta. On the 12^th of June, there will be a by-election to choose the successor as the representative of the good people of the riding. However, events have conspired to make it much more than merely selecting the riding’s next MLA.

You see our esteemed newly-minted premier, the Eddie the Uncertain, has managed (if that is the right word in his case) to turn this by-election into a mini referendum on the Premier’s policies and leadership and the early line is that things are not going so swimmingly for (Un) Steady Eddie. In fact, just this past week in a poll done by a Calgary polling firm, the Premier’s disapproval rate in the City of Edmonton has nearly doubled in the past few weeks to nearly 30% while in Calgary, the ongoing war with “Bronco” Broconnier, the city’s excitable mayor, has the disapproval rate of the Premier at 39%. Ouch.  Even in rural Alberta, seemingly the bastion of Eddie supporters the 30% of the people polled said Eddie was headed in the wrong direction. It looks like the honeymoon Ed Stelmach enjoyed after he emerged victorious in the leadership race, is definitely over.

Part of the discontent stems from the unending train of gaffes and missteps. The first was that fiasco last winter over the $5000 access fee to gain the ear of the premier that was politically and optically suspect. Eddie’s weak “I didn’t know” defense caused eyes to roll all over the province. The real damage as far as the Calgary by-election goes was done recently when the Eddie got into an ill-advised scrap with Calgary mayor Dave “Bronco” Broconnier shortly after the provincial budget was tabled. According to the mayor, Calgary (and the other cities) was promised certain funds to help build more schools as well as infrastructure. Apparently, some numbers were discussed and assurances given. However, on budget day, those numbers didn’t materialize and Bronco was upset and said in no uncertain terms that Eddie had lied to him. It degenerated into a he said, he said battle and the Premier let it be known that perhaps Dave was somewhat unstable. How’s that for reinforcing your base prior to a high profile by-election?

The incident highlighted once again the unfortunate rural-urban split that has become the hallmark of this young government. The complaint at the time Ed showed off his shiny new cabinet was that there was no representation from the major municipalities. The cities feared that their unique requirements would be overlooked and not properly understood. The dust-up between Premier Eddie and the mayor of Calgary just reinforced all those fears.

Since then, the situation has only gotten worse. With a high profile candidate missing from Calgary Elbow all options are in play. No less an authority than Rod Love said on the CBC Calgary morning show a few weeks back that Calgary Elbow was ripe for the picking. He offered that the riding had changed much over the last few years and that it was no longer a safe Tory seat especially now when there was no high profile name like Ralph Klein on the ballot. In fact, he went so far as to say it could even be an upset for the Liberals.

Now, the situation is even worse. With Calgarians having the belief that Premier Eddie has given them the short end of the financial stick, they sense the time may be right to deliver a message to the Premier in language even he can understand. That’s what makes the Calgary Elbow by-election so interesting.

Contrast that excitement with the other by-election in the riding of Drumheller Stettler triggered by Shirley McClellan’s retirement. That one has no controversy whatsoever. It has been so far under the radar in political discussion that one would be hard-pressed to know there is even a by-election in that riding. The reason is that this one will definitely continue to be a Tory riding. Let’s face it. If you put up a poster with the face of a mule as the Tory candidate you can bet there would be a mule representing Drumheller in the next session of the Alberta Legislature. Come to think of it, isn’t that who we had last time?

Okay, so maybe that was a bit nasty but Shirley McClellan was, in my humble opinion, always highly overrated. And when she got snubbed by Eddie for a cabinet post, took her ball and went home.

I know political pundits always say that by-elections are not a true test for the sitting government because they showcase the disaffected and their protest votes. In this case, when you have nearly an entire riding as well as the rest of the City of Calgary as part of the disaffected, this one might be a little more meaningful. Think of it as a referendum on the political skill of Ed Stelmach. This one could be an upset, folks.

Interview with . . . You’ll See

(As We Imagine It) 

Welcome to Spring-finally. I must admit I was getting a little nervous about that dump of snow we had in late May. But all that has given way to feelings of pastoral joy as I watched the leaves begin to cover the trees and the flowers everywhere are in full bloom. Oh yes, the clouds off mosquitoes are there too. You didn’t think you were going to get to enjoy spring and summer in Alberta without a price did you?

Okay, okay, I hear you saying, “What gives? I know this is an interesting bit of commentary on the joys of spring but come on, get to the heart of the matter, the hard-hitting interviews that I breathlessly click on this site for each and every month. Let’s have the interview!”

I hear you and I would really like to oblige but if the truth be known, and when has it been other wise on this site, I don’t have a willing subject this month to interview. I know who could resist sitting down on the old Naugahyde chair in the Prairie Post interview studio and being grilled by the probing questions and keen intellect of yours truly? Alright, I am stalling. There is no one this month to interview. Okay, I’ve admitted it. I have no interview.

Wait just a minute won’t you before you go surfing elsewhere? I think I hear the phone. Excuse me for a moment.

Oh, hello. What?

No, I don’t think you understand how this is supposed to work.

I don’t see how it would be that interesting.

You want a chance to get even? Even for what?

Okay, so maybe you did sound like a blithering idiot the last time you were here. I don’t doctor the interviews. If that’s how you came across then I am sorry but it had more to do with you than me.

What? No, I don’t think so.

Out of the question, no!

Nobody cares what I think.

It would just be silly. I can’t imagine . . .

Look, it might destroy the credibility of the Prairie Post.

Very funny. Okay, I’ll give it a shot. I still have grave reservations about this.

Well get here quickly. The vast audience is waiting with ill-disguised irritation.

People, relax a little bit. Here’s the deal. There will be an interview this month after all but it will be in a slightly different format. Yeah, that’s what the call was about. It seems our esteemed new Premier Eddie is still smarting from his previous appearance here and wants to set the record straight. The manner in which he wants to do so though might just surprise you. Get this, he wants to interview me! Can you believe it? I must say I have some serious reservations about going ahead with this but who knows; it might turn out okay after all. I have to admit that I have more than a little trepidation about this. Talk about the hunter now becoming the hunted.

I hope he gets here soon as I don’t know how much more time I can kill. Oh, thank goodness, there he is now.

A. Welcome Mr. Premier to the Prairie Post interview once again. Thank you for coming. I was just telling the audience that I am a little nervous about this.

Q. Thanks. I don’t think you have to be nervous but I will ask some questions. By the way, do I get the “Q” for this?

A. Already taken care of and of course that means I get the “A.” So, if you are keeping score at home, this month I answer and the Premier asks. It’s a little confusing but I am sure you’ll figure it out. Well then. Let’s get started shall we? Okay Mr. Premier, fire away.

Q. Thank you. I want to start, well just let me say how exciting it is to be here, or rather to be in the big chair holding the reins so to speak and controlling what I think, if I am correct in the assumption that perhaps this could be . . .

A. Excuse me Premier Stelmach. Could you please just start asking the questions? We have a limited amount of time here today.

Q. Okay, okay. I thought, at least I assumed that when you agreed, or at least decided to go through with this, that I, for the most part, would be allowed, or perhaps encouraged if that is the right word, to decide or possibly direct . . .

A. Ed, will you get on with it!  

Q. Okay! Let me begin by first asking or really, what I mean is, could you, for the initial question that I think, actually believe would be what the majority of Albertans, or let me say the majority of Albertans who read this Prairie Poster . . .

A. Prairie Post.

Q. What?

A. It’s Prairie Post. You said Prairie Poster. If you are going to do this at least get the name of the cyber journal correct.

Q. Whatever. My question still stands.

A. I don’t think we got to the question.

Q. Right, my apologies. As I started to indicate, when we first began, earlier in the interview, I think, or perhaps hope that what certain Albertans want to know, indeed, they might have guessed previously but for those such as myself wondering what it was that, at the outset, firstly what was the genesis or the idea that first or maybe was the spark that kindled should I say the initial edition of the, what was it, oh yes, the Prairie Post?

A. Huh? I had a little bit of difficulty following the question. I presume you asked me why I began the Prairie Post.

Q. Yes.

A. As you may be aware, I had written a book called Banksters and Prairie Boys that dealt with the Alberta Treasury Branches and the Alberta Government. Specifically, I wrote about the persistent and systemic culture of corruption in both and how it affected my life. The sad fact is that it continues to affect me to this day so a few years ago I decided to chronicle monthly the continued corruption and expose it. Over the intervening years, the Prairie Post has evolved and now takes in a much broader spectrum although Alberta politics is still the primary focus. However you might get a little sports commentary, some historical insights, music appreciation, or whatever strikes my fancy at the time. I try not to be predictable.

Q. What was it you called, or at least you made reference to, a book title I think you said if, in fact, I heard you correctly, that you apparently had a hand in or maybe even actually wrote?

A. Banksters and Prairie Boys. It was a Canadian bestseller.

Q. I don’t think, actually, in fact, if I was to be truly accurate, in stating without equivocation that I had not heard of it.

A. You might still find a copy around in a used book store but there are certainly copies available in many libraries throughout Alberta and Canada as well.

Q. I will certainly as soon as I get some time what with all the preparations for the two by-elections as well as a number of other initiatives currently occupying as I said many times the duties I have to oversee in this critical time in Alberta’s history but I am sure that given a short break that I might be able to endeavour to read and ultimately look over your book.

A. Maybe wait a while if you are so busy now. I have a strange feeling that you’ll have lots of time for reading after the next election.

Q. I believe that one of the problems you mentioned to both me and the previous government when Mr. Klein was in charge but of course as you know I am the head guy now and all that went before I intend to bring under control and for the benefit of all Albertans so that . . .

A. Sorry, is that a question?

Q. Can you perhaps succinctly and as our time permits to possibly if you would be so kind as to give us the nature of the problem as it affected you and that was really, if I am correct in sensing your level of disaffection the catalyst and perhaps even the cause of your problem?

A. Ah, yeah, I think so if you are asking me why I have been in bankruptcy for thirteen years?

Q. Exactly.

A. It worries me that I am beginning to understand you.

Q. How so?

A. Never mind. Yes, the bankruptcy that won’t go away. I must have set some kind of Canadian record. It wasn’t the fact that I am in bankruptcy so long that angers me it’s the fact that I was discharged a number of years ago a put back in bankruptcy. I had never heard of that happening. That just proves that it was never about a financial solution to my difficulties; it was always a politically initiated bankruptcy and it will take a political solution to fix it.

Q. Is it your aim, if I take your meaning while at the same time I don’t want to indicate that this government, that is to say my government, bears any responsibility whatsoever under the current climate it might be possible to seek a solution and what do you intend, looking at all the possibilities, to undertake to resolve?

A. You mean what am I going to do?

Q. Yes.

A. As I mentioned the only way to fix it is through political means because it is a politically initiated penalty. I intend to launch a petition to garner support to get this resolved. I have to put more pressure on the government.

Q. You mean me right?

A. Not you personally although anything you can do Ed would be certainly appreciated. I mean to put pressure on the ATB as they are now known and your government would be able to release some pertinent information to show what kind of back room dealing went on to silence me when I began to expose the ATB corruption and the government of the day’s involvement.

Q. So, if I take your meaning, it’s not that you, and when I say you I guess that’s who I mean, are not blaming or pointing the shameful finger of guilt at me more or less directly but that it was, in no uncertain terms what you characterize primarily in other words it was Ralph’s fault?

A. He and others although there were individuals in the ATB executive ranks as well as the judiciary that bear first hand responsibility.

Q. Let me ask you then for your assessment, not to belabour it, but the ATB is now ATB Financial and has a new structure that permits a more streamlined and perhaps in the future a more profitable and even a good bank but playing devil’s advocate for a second let me go back with your indulgence and ask what, if anything, you would do to the ATB or ATB Financial I guess is more correct given that you would have the type of power and/or influence to make those type of ongoing operational and corporate changes?

A. You want to know what I would do with the ATB?

Q. Precisely.

A. Since the ATB wants to be a bank I would at least seek a bank charter and make it a totally independent entity from the government so it operates under the same rules and restrictions as any other bank in Canada. As you know, right now, the ATB is technically an illegal entity. It has strayed from its original mandate and is now passing itself off as a full-service bank like any other federally regulated bank in Canada except that it still is tied to the Alberta government and doesn’t adhere to the Bank Act because it has no charter. That’s the first thing I would correct.

Q. I did not know that. Before the time is up and we must move along I want to and I think that you might want to further discuss the ATB from another angle entirely and that is that since my focus, at least the focus I have tried to implement since becoming the leader of the Alberta Tories is most assuredly on rural Alberta being that the vast majority of my new cabinet comes from, indeed they still reside in rural Alberta and that the shift in emphasis of the party is toward my own roots personally in that same rural area that one of the ideas we propose as a convenience for rural constituents would be for the ATB to once again like it certainly did in the past have a role to play in the distribution of vehicle registration information and such.

A. Are you asking me if the ATB should go back to selling licence plates?

Q. Yes.

A. I really am beginning to decipher your rambling.

Q. What?

A. Nothing. All I have to say about that is one word: silly.

Q. Let me change the line of questioning a bit and, at the risk of generalizing, moving from the provincial level to the federal arena and the performance I guess I could call it of Stephen Harper, who is the Prime Minister, and the Tories who have now been in power long enough to gauge or at least get a solid reading or sense of where they are going and what do you think or have you got an opinion on Mr. Harper based on his first year or so in office?

A. I think you are asking me what I think of Mr. Harper. Is that correct?

Q. That would be the question or query as I stated it and if you could provide a response then that would help move things along.

A. I’ll take that as a yes. From my own personal point of view, I think Mr. Harper has been a serious disappointment. Even the polls show that most Canadians agree with me. With the Liberals in such disarray under the incompetent leadership of Stephane Dion and the NDP making themselves increasingly irrelevant, the Tories’ approval rating has not improved appreciatively. The Tories have realized they are still not in a position to call an election and strive for a majority government. I don’t think that Canadians generally want a majority government as such governments tend to be insensitive to the electorate. Mr. Harper has succumbed to the intoxicating effects of power and as well, reality has intruded on idealism.

Q. I appreciate your answer although I don’t pretend or even to portray the appearance of someone who begins to understand what ultimately must be, in terms of federal politics, a somewhat cynical or perhaps it is rooted in actuality, a disappointing analysis.

A. I think this little experiment has gone far enough.

Q. You mean we’re done?

A. That’s exactly what I mean.

Q. But I have, not to put too fine a point on it or to emphasize it too strongly, many more, indeed quite a few more, inquiries that I think the multitude or a least a few individuals if they are keen enough would surely appreciate.

A. That’s the thing. Your questions take to long to ask. We’ll be here until next month and we are already past the deadline for this issue. I’m afraid I will have to wrap it up.

Q. But I am the big guy here today. Isn’t the time call something that I get to do I realize certainly not on a permanent basis but surely such power would extend throughout the session however long it might take or play out.

A. No, you are a temporary guest host. I still have ultimate authority and I say we’re done. Thank you for coming by.

Q. Oh, I am disappointed. Can we, at some time in the future, if you see your way clear perhaps at least for one more session do this again?

A. Nope, not going to happen. This was ill-advised and won’t be repeated. To paraphrase Quick Draw McGraw, I’ll do the questionin’ around here. Good-bye Mr. Premier.

Q. I really wanted; at least I had desired to get to the points about . . .

A. Say good-bye, Ed.

Q. Good-bye Ed.

A. And good-bye to you to, until next time when we re-instil some sense of order here. Does anybody understand that guy? 

Tumbleweed of the Month

He Goes For the Grand Slam 

I wasn’t going to do this but there was just no other clear candidate. The Tumbleweed this month really deserves the award more than anyone else I could think of. He has epitomized the archetypical Tumbleweed over these last few moths and even though he was our popular choice back in February for the very same distinction, I am pleased to announce that Steady Eddie Stelmach has once again clinched for the second time in his short tenure, the vaunted Tumbleweed of the Month.

I know what you are going to say. Give the guy a break; he’s just new in the job. Well, that may be so but how many missteps can one guy make and still get the benefit of the doubt? Here is a guy who makes Larry David look strong and confidant. When Eddie is home at his rural paradise, I’ll bet he can’t walk across a pasture without stepping in every single cow pie. That short guy from L’il Abner, you know the guy with the black cloud that always swirls over his head, has better luck than the now Unsteady Eddie.

The Premier makes the Alberta Tory government look like the keystone Cops on parade day after day in the news. Former PC butt-kissing columnists are turning against him. They call him out for botching the royalty negotiations and for exporting Alberta jobs to the U.S. courtesy of the big inch pipeline proposal to ship crude to the U.S. Midwest.

The City of Calgary is in virtual open revolt by Tory standards over Eddie’s perceived financial stab in the back in the latest budget. The mayor of that city has called the Premier a liar although I don't know if he used that specific word. His meaning, however, was crystal clear. Stephen Mandel, Edmonton’s mayor, although more reserved, has also expressed his disappointment in the Premier. Even the grass roots gang that put Ed in power sitting out there on their, well, grass roots, are skeptical of the job that Eddie Stelmach has done so far if you believe the results of a recent poll.

Now, he has been caught approving and then backtracking on approval of a massive mall project near Balzac. The holdup initially for the project’s approval was the access to treated water from the Red Deer River from the Town of Drumheller. Drumheller, quite sensibly, told them to go pound sand and that such a massive draw on the water supply would endanger the river ecology as well as the future of the town’s water supply. The Liberals apparently intercepted some emails indicating that the cabinet had already given the mall the go ahead telling them they would have water. Now, with the emails public, Eddie says that approval will not be given unless some agreement over water is arrived at. It certainly sounds like another off the cuff performance after getting caught, much like the infamous pay for access to the premier dinner last winter.

Initially, after he was sworn in as the Premier of Alberta, Eddie promised that this would be an open government and that he wanted to take us in a new direction. Little did we know that this new direction was going around in circles.

For a while, I thought that it was just me that couldn’t understand a word Ed said in his press conferences. To me, he sounded like he was talking doubletalk and getting bogged down by using every cliché and trite phrase known to the English language. It was a quality that I have parodied on a couple of occasions here including this month’s interview. Well, apparently I am not the only one who has noticed. I have seen a couple of columnists here in Alberta question what the premier has said. In a column about a recent press conference it was related that a press aide had to appear and explain to everyone what Premier Eddie had just babbled. It’s becoming a joke but people thought I was exaggerating after my first Eddie doubletalk piece. Now, they are saying, you know, he wasn’t that far off in his depiction of Eddie’s distinctive speaking style. The premier prides himself on listening to Albertans which is great. What would be even better is if he just didn’t speak to us.

Thus it gives me a great deal of pleasure to present to Premier Ed Stelmach this month’s Tumbleweed of the Month Award for the general and continued incompetence of his government. If I can find it and get it polished in time, I’ll also arrange to award him with the Harry Strom Memorial Award for the Best Performance in Dynasty Ending. Ed’s got that one locked up too.