The Devil You Know Rather

Than the Devil You Don’t 

Welcome to the Third Anniversary Edition of the Prairie Post. Another milestone in this humble little cyber-journal’s history is upon us as we begin our fourth year. Wow! I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Yes, yes, I’m aware there were those among you who believed we were just a flash in the pan, a mere shooting star in the heavens(although most placed us somewhat lower than that), and an ego project. But in the words of the genie in Aladdin’s lamp to a surprised Bugs Bunny: “ Ahm here! Ahm here! Feast your eyes on me. It’s too good to be true but ahm here! Ahm here!”   And so we are here and shall remain (now we’ve made it on some prominent search engines), tweaking and prodding the pompous and corrupt for your edification and delight. Hey, we get a kick out of it too! Speaking of kicks, let’s boot up year number four of the Prairie Post.

Wasn’t it delightful that the federal government called an election to help us celebrate? Thank you Mr. Martin. What a wealth of material all the whining, lying, bombast, and inflated promises offered. Politicians spent the entire campaign proving why they are held in such low esteem with all the negative connotations stoutly reinforced. When all the smoke, spit, and blood cleared, what emerged was pretty much like what we had before albeit with a slight lurch to the left. And Lurch, sorry, Stephen Harper found out that almost everywhere but Alberta, a Reform/Alliance party with new makeup and a new wardrobe, tarted up as the Conservative Party was still just that in the minds of the voters: the Reform Party of old with better clothes but still essentially a western protest party. When it came to consummating the PC-Alliance marriage, the red Tories, the old PC gang of Joe Clark et al, bolted from bed on the wedding night. The Conservatives’ percentage of the popular vote remained essentially the same as the Alliance alone in the last federal election. True PCs appeared to hold their collective noses and voted Liberal. Take that, Mr. Harper! Lest we forget!

True to form and reputation, Alberta once again went its own way dividing up the 28 Alberta seats in a lopsided 26-2 ratio of Conservatives to Liberals. Quite frankly, if you painted a big blue “C” on a pig in this province, he’d get elected to the House of Commons. The two Liberals, Deputy Prime Minister Anne McLellan and David Kilgour  just squeaked to victory once again, Kilgour by the razor thin margin of 132 votes as of this writing. I smell recount. The NDP was shut out again. One sometimes wonders why they even bother to run in this province. At least they deserve credit for unabashed if misplaced optimism. And I suppose that they can take solace in the fact that their reputation as professional victims was left intact.

Already the whisperings about the future of Stephen Harper as leader of the Conservatives have begun. Mr. Harper, unfortunately for him and the party, has too much Reform Party baggage to appeal to the majority of the electorate (read Ontario). He’s a decent, sincere, intelligent guy but he will never be the Prime Minister. To the voters of Ontario, he will always be a wild-eyed Reformer.

Early in the campaign, the Conservatives were confident their message was finally being heard. Paul Martin and the Liberals were up to their red tie-encircled necks with the adscam business. Mr. Martin looked tired and more than a little desperate, afraid that the career long quest to be Prime Minister as legitimately elected by the people of Canada, a feat his revered father could never manage, was about to vanish faster than the career of Mike Bullard. His place in the history books was destined to be a one line entry wedged in next to John Turner, Kim Campbell, and Joe Clark as a political leader even less memorable than Avril Lavigne’s lyrics, an asterisk waiting to happen. Stephen Harper licked his lips in anticipation and in his case, that’s no small achievement. He could taste power.

So what happened? What turned a campaign that was on track to make Stephen Harper Prime Minister into a Stephen Harper train wreck? To my mind, there were four factors or turning points that ultimately frustrated the Conservatives.

Overconfidence was certainly one factor. With two weeks to go in the campaign, Mr. Harper was already thinking about the wallpaper at 24 Sussex Drive. In fact, over the last portion of the campaign he backed off and withdrew from hard electioneering while his opposite numbers ramped up their courting of Canada’s voters. Consultant Rod Love believes they peaked too early and didn’t sustain the momentum. If the strategy was designed to ease off and let the Liberals self-destruct, then it failed miserably and ironically it was the Tories who self-destructed. In short, the Conservatives let Paul Martin back into the game.

Defining moment number two occurred when Stephen Harper accused the Prime Minister of being soft on pornography and child pornography in particular. That was just plain stupid. Whether you loathe Paul Martin or love him, I think you would be hard pressed to find any Canadian anywhere who believed that. The voters started to look at Mr. Harper a little more closely and they began to believe he might be a little wild-eyed indeed. Was that an “R” sewn on his lapel?

Number three factor was our own inimitable Premier Ralph who started thinking (?) out loud about breaking the rules of the Canada Health Act but not willing to talk about the details until after the election. Oops! There was talk of a secret agenda by the Conservatives to gut the Canada Health Act as soon as they took power. Canadians’ ears pricked up. What? What was that? Destroy healthcare? Paul Martin couldn’t believe his good fortune. He must have felt like the kid who wished for a pony for his birthday and got a barn full. And Ralph Klein handed Mr. Harper the pony’s byproduct. The cynical among us would say that Ralph did it deliberately. After all, there’s nothing quite like the big, bad Liberals in Ottawa for Ralph Klein’s job security and now there is a virtual guarantee of a fall provincial election. Ralph is obviously a lot smarter than he looks (or sounds).

If that wasn’t already enough lead shot in Stephen’s dancing shoes, along came nut bar Conservative candidate Gerry White talking about sidestepping the Supreme Court with the notwithstanding clause. Mr. White just proved to the majority of Canadians that Goofy’s address wasn’t restricted to Disneyland. Notwithstanding clause? Would they open that Pandora’s Box? My god, I believe they would. Yes, yes, I can definitely see those wild eyes! Paul, save us please!

Thus did Paul Martin achieve his dream and pay tribute to the ghost of his father even if it is with a minority government. What does that mean for Canadians? Well, it could be the most expensive government in history as power broker Jack Layton prepares his shopping list on your tab and the perpetually offended Gilles Duceppe has already booked the Brinks trucks for the cash haul to Quebec. In Alberta, say hello Kyoto! Watch for Ralph to call a fall election perhaps even earlier than November now that Albertans’ disappointment and alienation at once again being at the wrong party is at a fever pitch. Go get’em, Ralph! It’s going to be a fun fourth year at the Prairie Post. Come along with us because you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

Interview with History

Election 2004 As It Happens

(Nearly, Well, Almost Nearly, Sorta)

(As We Imagine It)

Don’t worry. This is not going to be as pompous as the title makes it sound but in the words of that great genius John Cleese, “And now for something completely different.” In honour of this third anniversary of the beginning of the Prairie Post and the fact that it nearly coincides with the 2004 Federal General Election, we decided to try a little experiment. How successful that experiment will be remains to be seen but, hey, one has to live on the edge sometime, right?

I hear you swallowing nervously and shifting in your chair. Relax because this experiment doesn’t involve you at all. You just have to read the interview as always. It’s just the format of the interview will be slightly different. (What’s the matter-did you think I could divine the name of that web site you visit after the spouse and the kids go to bed)?

Through the magic of modern technology, we have arranged to talk to the leaders of the four major political parties as the election unfolds. All have agreed to be on a cell phone conference call discussion as we watch the election results come in starting as the polls close in Newfoundland. This will either be fun or a complete and utter disaster. Here goes.

Q. Is everybody on the line? In no particular order are you there Mr. Layton?

L. I’m here.

Q. Mr. Martin?

M. Yes, I’m here but the connection is bad. You’re with the Leader Post?

Q. No, Mr. Martin. This is the Prairie Post. It’s an Alberta based cyber journal.

M. Ah what? Oh, I see.

Q. You’re not disappointed are you, Mr. Martin?

M. No, no, not at all. Always glad to be open and honest with the media.

Q. Yes, I see. M. Duceppe? Can you hear me?

D. Oui. C’est un grand plaisier.

Q. Sorry, M. Duceppe but as this is an English-speaking audience, could I ask you to speak English during our interview?

D. Oui, I mean yes. I suppose so although obviously I prefer French. 

Q. Great. With the greatest respect French is a beautiful language but it will be really tedious for me to translate as we go not to mention all that extra space so I thank you for being so accommodating. Too bad you couldn’t be that way in the House of Commons.

D. What?

Q. Nothing. And finally, Mr. Harper, are you with us?

H. Yes, sorry, I was just looking up Ralph Klein’s address here in Calgary. Did I miss anything?

Q. No, we are just about to start as it is now 5:00 Mountain time and we should have some results in from Newfoundland shortly. There may be some gaps as the early results trickle in so if I could just ask that you remain on standby so I can go to you at any time.

M. Sure.

H. No problem.

L. I’ll try.

D. OK

Q. I’ll be back to you all momentarily.

            5:15

Q. The early results are in from Newfoundland and the Conservatives are leading. That must be comforting Mr. Harper.

H. Yes, of course but with only a couple of polls reporting, I don’t think we can say a trend is developing yet.

Q. No, of course not. I mentioned it only as an early return. I’ll come back to you all in a few minutes.

            5:30

Q. I apologize for the intermittent nature of this interview but until we get some substantial returns, quite frankly not a lot is happening and the leaders also have other commitments tonight as you might guess. Well, here we go. Three Liberals and one Conservative are now declared elected in Newfoundland/Labrador. That’s interesting.

M. Off to a good start. I was always confident my message was resonating in Newfoundland. I see we stole one from the NDs.

H. Don’t get carried away, Paul. We snagged one there. Jack, your star guy went down, buddy.

L. That’s a shame. Des worked hard and I’m sure he is very disappointed as am I. It’s still very early and I’m confident.

Q. Interesting start but still very slow returns. Let’s say I come back to you after the rest of Atlantic Canada has some results.

            6:00

Q. Let’s check in with the leaders now that we have some Atlantic Canada returns. It’s the Liberals out in front now by a healthy margin at 22 to 7 for the Conservatives and 3 for the NDP leading and elected. Oh and this is interesting . . . Scott Brison who crossed over to the Liberals is leading handily. Your reactions?

M. Woo Hoo! Ah, I mean that’s great. It looks like we have really done well in Atlantic Canada tonight and I want to send my congratulations to the winners there and I think this bodes extremely well for us overall.

Q. Mr. Harper?

H. I am a little disappointed but again, it is still very early and results from most of the country has still to come.

Q. Do you think your comments about the Atlantic region being “defeatist” have had an effect? Are they punishing you?

H. No, I don’t think that’s the case at all. Like I say, it’s still early.

M. Come on, Stephen. They’re giving you the ol’Atlantic whupass. Admit it.

H. Perhaps they were swayed by your campaign of fear and distortion. “Whupass” doesn’t enter into it.

M. Sure Stephen. Whatever you say. They elected a Liberal gay man who switched parties for God’s sake. If that’s not telling you to “shove it,” then I don’t know what is.

H. Let’s just see if you are so happy once we hit Quebec and Ontario. Then we can talk “Whupass!”

Q. Alright gentlemen. How about we take a break before this gets a little too testy and come back when we have some results from Ontario and Quebec?

All. Fine. Sure. Whatever. OK by me.

            7:30

Q. No substantial results yet for Ontario and Quebec but I suspect the floodgates are about to open. It looks like the Liberals are continuing to build a lead here though as we have a half dozen Ontario ridings now coming in. Yes, the Liberals are leading in 5 of those ridings with the NDP leading in 1 although I am not sure who the lone orange representative is at the moment. Our leaders are busy right now with the various networks so let’s return in a few minutes when we have a definite trend established. The polls are now closed here in Alberta so batten down the hatches. Results should be coming in thick and fast. Grab your ballots with both hands and see what happens when we come back.

            8:00

Q.  Wow, when I said the counts would be coming in thick and fast I had no idea how fast. Let’s try to make some sense of the numbers, shall we? At the moment we have the Liberals elected or leading in 111 ridings, the Conservatives elected or leading in 45, the Bloc 27, and the NDP 19. You have a strong showing so far for the Bloc in Quebec, M. Duceppe. Was that what you expected?

D. Well, of course you know it was not unexpected, let me just say that. I am pleased to be sure.

Q. Does this mean the sovereigntist agenda will be back on the table?

D. In Quebec that is always a question we must consider but for the moment I think that is not so important as we will concentrate on representing the needs and desires of Quebeckers in Ottawa.

M. Gilles, my friend, I hope you are correct. Don’t forget we have many fine Liberals in Quebec who can now do the same. I’m happy that Jean Lapierre is returning to the House for us.

D. He changes parties more often than the underwear. He is a sovereigntist at heart, Paul. I wouldn’t count that as a victory for Canada but rather a victory for expedience perhaps.

Q. Mr. Harper, it looks as if your hoped for breakthrough in Ontario is a bust. What’s your reaction? Mr. Harper? Mr. Harper? He’s just talking to CTV at the moment I guess. Perhaps he can hear me now. Mr. Harper?

H. I’m here. What was the question?

Q. Your showing in Ontario? It doesn’t appear at the moment as the breakthrough you anticipated.

H. No, that’s true but I am confident still as there are some close races that could go either way so let’s just see what happens.

Q. Mr. Harper, please, the trend is there. You‘re getting slaughtered in Ontario. Is that because Ontario still views you with suspicion? Despite the name change, do you think they still view the Conservatives as a fringe party, still essentially the Reform Party of Canada?

H. No, it’s because Ontario voters are assholes, OK. Is that what you wanted me to say? Complete assholes who bought into Paul Martin’s bullshit. Happy now?

Q. Ahhhh, yeah, okay. Whew!

M. There, there, Stephen. Don’t be a sore loser. Ha ha!

H. Shut up you bloated . . .

Q. Gentlemen please! Decorum and civility at all times if you please.

H. Windbag!

M. Nazi!

Q. Guys! Just cool it! You wouldn’t disrespect the television audience so don’t disrespect this audience. Do I make myself clear?

M. Yeah okay but he started it.

H. Okay. Did not.

M. Did too.

Q. Enough. Let’s go to Mr. Layton.

L. You see what you get with the old line parties. You get the bickering and the lies. I am happy to see that Ontario has embraced more NDP candidates and our showing is very strong.

M. Dream on, Jack. Right now you’re losing your own riding.

L. I am confident that my supporters will come through and . . .

H. Stop him before he gets wound up. Otherwise we’ll be here all night.

Q. Actually, it might be a good idea to step away for a while until some further returns are available and to let everybody cool down. We will return shortly.

            8:30

Q. I knew this was going to be a problem once the polls across the country closed. Media everywhere want comments from the party leaders so getting them here for their reactions is going to be more difficult. I wanted to get some more feedback from them as to the current standings but it looks as if each one is unavailable at the moment so let me just try to update things for the time being. The Liberals are elected or leading in 127, the Conservatives elected or leading in 85, the Bloc Quebecois elected or leading in 53, and the NDP elected or leading in 19. Just some other notes of interest while I have this opportunity: Ralph Goodale, the cabinet minister has been elected for the Liberals and Jack Layton is still trailing in Toronto Danforth. I wish he was available to talk about that but he has disappeared for the moment, potty break perhaps. Oh, this just in now as the CBC has declared that the Liberals have a minority government so it looks like Stephen Harper’s quest to unseat Mr. Martin as Prime Minister has fallen short. Alberta, with the staunch Conservative support will improve the showing no doubt but not enough for the Conservatives to wield power. The wheels seem to have come off for Mr. Harper and he must be bitterly disappointed. Let me see if I can get his reaction. Oh dear, well that is rather unfortunate. He as well as the other leaders are tied up at the moment but let’s take a break and I promise I will line up our leaders for comments as soon as I can get to them. Stand by.

            9:00

Q. Well, I think we have everybody in place this time so let’s try it once more, shall we? Alright, is everybody on the line?

M. Paul Martin here.

D. I’m here but since I’ve got my 55 seats and I’m now Prime Minister of Quebec, I am going to leave you to speak to my people, my Quebeckers but it was fun and even more fun to beat you, Paul. Au revoir mes amis.

Q. I guess there wasn’t much more he could contribute anyway as we go across the country.

M. Good riddance. Prime Minister my ass. More like the frog prince.

L. Hello. I have something to say here. I am now a power broker and I have won my riding.

H. Just a warning. Don’t get him started.

M. Amen.

Q. Warning duly noted. Okay, Mr. Layton go ahead. Congratulations by the way!

L. Thank you. I am here and I would just like to say that before we go over the results, results by the way that I am very proud of and just let me give a big thank you to the people of Trinity Danforth because you see . . .

M. Aw, Jack shut up.

L. . . .and I am hopeful that in the event . . .

Q. We’ll come back to Mr. Layton. Mr. Harper, are you there? Ah, Mr. Harper, are you there sir? We seem to have lost Mr. Harper momentarily. Mr. Harper? Mr. Harper?

H. What was that?

Q. Oh, good you’re back with us.

H. Sorry about that. My cell phone battery just ran out of juice and I had to get a replacement.

M. Kinda like your campaign, huh Stephen? The people of Ontario got a replacement too-me! Na, na, na, na, hey, hey, now, gooood-bye!

Q. Excuse me Mr. Martin but could you please stop singing. Thank you.

H. Always the clown, eh Paul. Well the joke is going to be on Canada if you get back in.

M. I am back in my friend and back in the old chair. I’ve always wondered what it's like to have no sense of humour whatsoever. Let me look that up and see if a humour transplant is covered under the healthcare system that you and Ralph Klein were going to destroy.

H. Smartass. Wait till I get a hold of Klein, that fat little f . . .

Q. Mr. Layton, are you there?

L. . . . so in the kind of Canada that we truly want and can achieve the Liberals and Mr. Martin will have to bring in legislation that we want to see for all of Canada, to be all inclusive for women and minorities and . . .

M. My god that man can talk. Does he ever take a breath? There’s a battery that SHOULD run down.

Q. It looks like Alberta will once again be solidly Conservative with only David Kilgour and Anne McLellan leading for the Liberals in Edmonton but the leads are miniscule as usual.

M. I’m happy to see that Annie’s in the lead and that strange duck Kilgour, well at least he’s pumping up the numbers. When are those redneck assholes going to see the light and vote Liberal? Their always whining about how the West gets shafted and then turn around and elect dumb old bastards like Myron Thompson and Art Hanger. Geezus, are they stupid or what? Myron Thompson for chrissake! And they say Neanderthals don’t exist anymore. I think the Tyrrell Museum better take inventory because some of their fossils are missing!

H. No wonder there is western alienation with an attitude like that. This is the real Paul Martin, Canada. This is who you voted for. You were all taken in by that obsequious, bowing and scraping style of his. Paul, you scumbag! You disgust me!

M. Alienation! Hah! You’re the closest thing to an alien nation. In fact, you look like an alien with those weird eyes and lips. Do you ever smile? You remind me of the thing on the slab during that crackpot alien autopsy show. You’re creeping me out.

H. I creep YOU out? When we get back to Ottawa out behind the Centre Block, man, I’ll kick your tax-sheltered ass. You Liberals are a real crass act. Adscam? Adscum more like it.

M. Any time, anywhere, pal. You make Presto Manning look like David Lee Roth. In a photo-op with Ralph Klein, you guys look like the number “10” which, when I think about it, is about the size of your combined IQ.

H. Yeah, well at least I can count to 10 you piece of s  . . .

Q. Okay! Okay! I think perhaps we had better go to Mr. Layton. Mr. Layton, are you there?

L. . . . and I think all Canadians, be they white, black, yellow, red, or brown, can take comfort in the fact that we in the NDP recognize that diversity is something to be celebrated and cheered in this country and we will work extremely hard to ensure that the government keeps its promises to women and labour so that much needed social welfare programs continue and let me focus on the . . .

Q. For the love of God, will you please just shut up! I’m beggin’ you.

L.  . . . and the people of the North who have been largely ignored by successive governments of the old line parties and I see real opportunity to be inclusive and . . .

Q. I give up. I should have listened to my inner voice when it whispered, actually, shouted DISASTER! We didn’t even get to the end of the results before the whole thing deteriorated into bitter partisan squabbling and irrelevance. Come to think of, I guess that means we’re just back to normal Canadian politics. I apologize profusely for this failed experiment. I was hoping for some true insight and enlightenment about the political process. I really should have known these guys couldn’t be civil for very long. Oh, well, it should be an interesting parliamentary session when they all return to the House. It’s been a tough night. Why do I feel like I am in desperate need of a shower? See you next month when I hope to bring you a more successful interview, ‘Bye for now.

Tumbleweed of the Year

That’s Our Story and

We’re Sticking to It

Here we are again! Sometimes it doesn’t seem as if this little enterprise in search of the truth has been ongoing for this long. Lo and behold, we are starting out the fourth year and as we always do, it’s time to reflect over the past year’s Tumbleweeds and select one outstanding example of, well, let’s just say an example and leave it at that. 

The lineup (and I use that word intentionally) over the past twelve months was certainly varied with one of the early favourites being Al (whash yur name honey) Wachowich leading off last August. A strong (?) performance by Madame Justice Myra Bielby with two appearances put her in the lead for a while as a likely Tumbleweed of the Year candidate. Shirley McClellan and Svend Robinson put in fine performances in the “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” category to earn consideration. But when it all came down to sifting the pepper from the fly shit, there was only one choice really. As they say in NASCAR country, the boy run good all year and got in as a provisional on points. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2004 Tumbleweed of the Year, our newly sober yet somehow confused Premier of the Province of Alberta, the one, the only Ralph Klein! Besides, it would have been just wrong to let a schmuck like Chief Justice Allan Wachowich to win two years in a row. For me, seeing the word “just” in the same sentence as Al Wachowich is amazing in itself. So cheer up Al, and have a drink. Oh, I see you’ve already had several in anticipation. No, that’s okay Al. I’ll just step over you.

As documented in last month’s special edition “Ralph in Crisis” (record hits thank you so much), the beloved and newly dried out Premier made a strong showing in the last few months to garner the coveted award. To be absolutely sure of his position, he didn’t rest on his ah, laurels. No indeed. Over the last month, after pondering life over dim sum on a vital two week Asian trade mission, and mistaking indigestion for his legendary “fire in the belly,” he has been heard to muse about the possibility of calling a fall provincial election, likely in November. Strange is it not? It’s not so much burning desire as burnt out desire. I mean the guy has been like clockwork over the last few elections by going to the people in the spring every four years. Now he wants a November election months ahead of the expected date and on the heels of the federal and municipal elections. The people of Alberta will be all electioned out by that point so the strategy seems counterproductive. There is truly something up here and your faithful correspondent (that would be me) believes he knows what is driving the sudden urge for the polls. I’ll come to what I believe is the real reason behind the November provincial election suggestion in a moment but just to whet your appetite let’s say there are degrees of counter productivity.

Ralph in Crisis Update! Where is Robert Stack when you really need him? Oh, right. I forgot. He’s dead. In the lamented absence of poor Bob allow me to update you then. Ralph Klein has continued to gag himself with his own Florsheim. The very week before the federal election, when Stephen Harper was gaining altitude with his balloon, Ralph dragged out his slingshot and promptly launched a sharp stone right through the side of it. You could practically hear the helium rushing out. The Alberta government was going to make significant changes to healthcare and was going to announce the details on June 30^th, just two days after the election. The timing was suspect. Conservatives at all levels were aghast. Paul Martin jumped on the opportunity to tell Canadians that Stephen Harper and Ralph Klein had a secret agenda to gut healthcare and that he would not stand idly by. Jack Layton decried the Conservative horde. Ontarians gulped. And then Ralph did a Ralph. He disappeared. He was reduced to sneaking out the back door of the Edmonton Jubilee Auditorium after some official function as his official government car circled the block until Ralph could make the desperate dash to the back seat.  

Instead, to explain what happened, the Premier trotted out Alberta’s Health Minister, Gary Mar to outline a much reduced program from what Mr. Klein had suggested and what he did announce was released before June 28^th. Of course, we all know now what happened to Stephen Harper’s election carriage. Let’s just say that, thanks to Ralph, Mr. Harper’s kids should have a great time carving a Jack O’ Lantern next October. Oh, and while we’re referencing holidays, I suspect that Mr. Klein will no longer be on Stephen Harper’s Christmas card list.

Now to the juicy bit that sealed the deal as TWOTY for our Ralph. Unlike politicians, I keep my promises. One of my banking sources, usually reliable I hasten to add, has provided me with what I think is the real reason driving the Premier’s consideration of a fall provincial election. Now as most of you know, or at least suspect, governments and the banking industry talk all the time. Such communication sees to their mutual interest. The latest scuttlebutt from the financial corridors is that the big banks are losing their patience with Alberta’s financially stressed farmers. With the mad cow fallout still haunting agriculture in Alberta, and the slim prospect of the U.S. border fully opening anytime soon, the banks aren’t interested in carrying farmers through another winter. As I hear it, the situation was so bad last winter that the banks lent the farmers additional money just to feed the livestock. But in the banks’ view, enough is enough. CEOs and shareholders are nervous. Early next year, some loans and mortgages are going to be called. They believe that the Alberta government has had enough time to solve the problem but has blown it. The bailouts resulted in fatter packing plant bottom lines and not in real help for farmers. The banks are just waiting to pull the pin.

Ralph Klein knows what is looming on the horizon so he wants to have the election before the banks influence the outcome. Foreclosed and angry farmers may turn against the government they will hold responsible for their economic meltdown. The gerrymander sword cuts both ways when the electorate is angry and Ralph wants to avoid that possibility. This is cynical politics at its worst. You heard it here first.

There is one final bonus tidbit to ponder. In the near future, the Prairie Post will be doing a story on a massive securities fraud in Edmonton and Calgary. A company has been promising huge returns on 13 thousand acres of undeveloped land twenty and thirty miles outside the cities within two to three years whereas anyone who knows anything about zoning and development realizes it could be ten if not twenty years before these areas are developed. In fact, the land is so far out of Edmonton and Calgary, the City of Red Deer has a better shot at developing these parcels of land. The company has avoided close scrutiny by the Alberta Securities Commission because one of the principals is married to a friend of Colleen Klein. In numbers, think about a 500 million dollar fraud right up there in West Edmonton Mall territory. These people are obviously slow learners. Watch this space for further developments but here’s a clue: think mountain, Richard Thomas, and Ellen Corby. “And you doesn’t have to call me Johnson.” I see knowing smiles (or frowns) out there. Anyway, Mr. Klein is worried that this could blow before a traditional spring election as well. I’ll do my best to ensure he is worried for a reason.

Please raise a glass of ginger ale or perhaps a non-alcoholic beer and toast our newly sober Premier as the 2004 Tumbleweed of the Year. He has truly epitomized what it means to be a Tumbleweed and I must confess he will be very difficult to unseat next year. We may have the possibility of back to back wins-at as far as the TWOTY is concerned. As far as retaining his job as Premier, well, that could depend on the timing of the next election be it November or March. Ralph may be a lot of things but he isn’t stupid. Trust me. It’ll be November.